What else do you want from me

Today was supposed to be the day I got my life back together.

For a good start, which involved me settling down behind my desk (hasn’t happened in a year), the following chain of events didn’t quite work out.

“PIAAAAAK”

My macbook charger died on me.

Great.

Just… great.

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Plans for tomorrow

1. Submit online visa application
2. Watch Facebook videos from Darrell
3. Submit course-matching request and sort out timetable
4. Let the fact that school has started (but not for me) sink in
5. Make myself a cup of hot tea and reflect on last semester (plus grades)
6. Blog/Write something substantial

Baby steps, baby steps. Pace yourself.

Indignation

Driver: 小妹,你在哭啊?

Girl: 没有,我的眼睛很累。

Appearance is everything.

All they can see are the absences, the lack of exploration, the sub-standard work, the clumsiness, and the late submission. So they think it’s a serious lack of effort.

When everything is quite the contrary, really.

They won’t know how much effort it took to complete (disastrous) work on time on days when even breathing becomes a chore.

Phony

“What does it mean to be happy to you?”

*shrugs*

“Let’s rephrase that. How do you see yourself if you no longer have these negative thoughts?”

“I don’t know? I guess… then… I wouldn’t be me anymore.”

I feel like I have been doing a Holden Caulfield the whole of this semester. Or maybe my entire life, idk?

“You can only be in a bad mood for so long before you have to face up to the fact that it isn’t a bad mood at all; it’s just your sucky personality.”

Megan McCafferty

Hear, hear.