Shoot

I’ve always knew that being a good photographer meant more than having a good camera. To be acutely aware of what setting combinations to use for what subject and all sorts of a range of other variables… it’s no wonder why I never had an interest in photography. Ha.

From reading manuals, consulting google and fiddling with Gracie’s Canon AE-1 Program to getting totally confused, loading the film, making a wasted trip out of the house and being scared to death – all in a single morning – at least I think I’ve learnt something.

Cheers to having taken a baby step out of my comfort zone today.

Remember:

Learn, not look smart. Better a fool for a brevity than one for a lifetime.

Now what?

Might be biting off more than I can chew this semester what with 22AUs (of which 15 are ADM studio modules), SC, Harmonica P&P, concert and workstudy. Spread so thinly I don’t think I make a delicious sandwich 😦

The constant trepidation of failing at everything even before I try any is such an unhealthy mindset. Doubts fill my entire being, ahhhhhhhhhhh. And I can’t make a decision to save my life.

Anyway I guess the reason I haven’t been updating here as much is because I found a great listener whom I am extremely grateful for having met 🙂

Hm.

I’m a teabag wishing to become a cup of aromatic tea. But being afraid to take the leap into hot water, I go around looking for people to do me the favour of dunking me instead. Yes, despite my fears of being scalded. How masochistic.

The bell curve is almost like a permanent standard. Sometimes I wonder, since there can only have so many successful people in the world, perhaps I should just live happily as a mediocrity. But I’m afraid of not living up to my potential too. As J.D. Salinger has so nicely put it, “I’m sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody.”

Should I sit in comfort as a teabag and forever wonder how my life would be different as tea, or should I accept the challenge and endure the hardships that is to come? The only fear in choosing the latter is again, self-doubt.

What if I’m not even a teabag to begin with? What if I’m just juice? Or milk?

I don’t want to be ruined.

Ah, the conundrum!

Inspirations have I none

FOC is over and I’m so so so so relieved it turned out pretty great. Beyond thankful for having had a team of dedicated and efficient proggies plus their unconditional support.

Two weeks into sophomore year and i’m still in holiday mood. Not at all psyched for the first vc and typo projects, but oh well that’s what I get for choosing timetable over profs. Forensics feels like a submerged iceberg. Madness is dwindling. French can kill. But electives sure are a great way for making new acquaintances. Especially when you feel like a total idiot in class and turns out, the person next to you does too. Common experiences brings people together ya.

Old yet new; an unfolding familiarity – hall, harmonica, work-study and whatnot.

I really miss updating this space with all my routine nonsense, but such time has become a luxury. Anyway the real purpose of this post is to rant about my lack of inspiration for vc. Sorry to have wasted your time. LOL. Back to work.