Ever since this fact registered 5 years ago, never a day have I been myself.
There are many ‘me’s.
‘Me’ in school.
‘Me’ at home.
‘Me’ in front of people I admire.
‘Me’ in front of strong & smart people.
‘Me’ in front of ignorant & obnoxious people.
‘Me’ in front of people I greatly detest but still have to put up with.
The list goes on but which is the true ‘me’?
The ‘me’ when I’m alone, the ‘me’ when I’m myself.
Living in constant trepidation that I might step on someone’s tail because ‘The Earth is round’. You never know when the person you’ve offended might become your next boss or just someone you have to work with (again).
Unfortunately, when that time really comes, you go “Shit! Shouldn’t have told him the truth about his B.O, beer belly and disgusting pus-squirting warts!” or “Damn, I should have put up with her nasty, foul, and (insert whatever bad adjectives here) attitude, for a few more months back then” or just something which goes along the line… But it’s already too late for regrets. What’s being said (either on impulse or because you really can’t stand that annoying person anymore) can never be taken back and now it’s time you suffer the other party’s wrath.
This is precisely why I find this society so sickening.
We all pretend to want to know the truth, but in actual fact, we deny it. Fear it even.
It is only when people quarrel when all the facts come tumbling out of their normally sealed mouths. But immediately after those words were spoken, they go “Sorry, I really didn’t mean that!” HAHAHA, what a joke. The truth is, they meant everything they said, they just didn’t say it before because they are afraid that things might turn out ugly someday.
How can anyone be themselves, say all the things on their mind and still not hurt others?
“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.” – Kurt Vonnegut
Don’t be fooled by all the “Be yourself” talks, because the conclusion is clear.
We have to wear a mask everyday and keep up with our pretences. Let’s just be careful not to suffocate ourselves by taking out our masks once in a while. And of course, do make sure that you are very well alone when the time comes for you to take a breather.