Pick up the nearest book and flip to Page 29. Write what jumped out in the form of a letter.
Hi. When I first laid eyes on you, all I could think of were beancurds.
Please do not take it personally, but blame it on my ignorance instead. However, do be lenient because that was what brought you here in the first place. Also, to make up for my rudeness, I have since consulted with Google and have now updated my knowledge of you.
First, pronunciation. The lady from Google Translate told me it’s tu-kern. Not tou-kan or dou-gan. I have never learnt the English phonics, you see.
So tu-kern, what exactly are you?
Ah, a bird! That explains a lot. Google Image also showed me what a colourful one you are.
You know, both of us love fruits so much, I’m sure we would have been best friends if you weren’t living halfway across the globe from where I live. Nevertheless, it was really nice meeting you, Toucan.
P/S: Your bill sure looks like a vibrant crab claw!
P/P/S: I’ll treat you to a lizard feast if you ever decide to come over my place some time 😉