Mediocrity

“I’m sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody. I’m sick of myself and everybody else that wants to make some kind of a splash.” J.D. Salinger

I can never quote this enough.

I hate that you were right about this from the start.

How can I stop envying everyone else?

Contentment. How do I get one?

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黑色柳丁

很想說,卻又覺得沒有話好說
我只恨我自己,逃不出這監獄
或許我,是只沒有出息的小蟲

I wish everyone could see

how creative they all are.

And perhaps someone might be thinking that about me too?

You know they always say to treat others how you would like to be treated? Yeah, I’ve come to realise that it is important to treat yourself the way you treat others too.

Be kinder to yourself. That’s what I meant.

Anyhow, married friends of the internet! Won’t you please take some time to fill out this survey for me? It’s totally anonymous!

FYP?

Too many questions I have no answers to.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/10/why-happy-people-cheat/537882/

https://edition.cnn.com/2017/10/05/health/why-women-cheat-partner/index.html

https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/love-sex/98437414/the-truth-about-cheating-why-affairs-are-more-damaging-now-than-ever

http://bigthink.com/dollars-and-sex/the-origin-of-marriage-and-the-evolution-of-divorce

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/maybe-its-just-me/201008/why-get-married-the-value-commitment

http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.570.5123&rep=rep1&type=pdf

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201401/how-prevent-infidelity-and-adultery

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4012696/

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/22/pre-marital-counseling_n_4784568.html

https://dr-jim.com/12-topics-and-75-questions.html

http://www.singstat.gov.sg/docs/default-source/default-document-library/publications/publications_and_papers/marriages_and_divorces/smd2016.pdf

file:///Users/siqi/Downloads/Statistics%20Series%20-%20Dissolution%20of%20Marriage%20Cohorts.pdf

https://www.singstat.gov.sg/statistics/browse-by-theme/marital-status-marriages-and-divorces

Compare and Contrast

EXERCISE

Here
Cycle everywhere
4km every other day (on good weeks)
Badminton with friends (occasional)

There
Walk between school and hall and canteen
Table Tennis Thursdays

SLEEP

Here
8-9 hours daily

There
4-6 hours daily (average)

LEISURE (BOOKS)

Here
The Piano Teacher
Silver Linings
The Invisible Man
(to be continued)

There
Sun Zi Bing Fa (for assignment, hardly any leisure)
N.A. cause some marbles were lost and there wasn’t time anyway

LEISURE (WRITING)

Here
A recount and reflection of each day every single day
Some snail mails
Some postcards
A blog entry here and there

There
No no no no no no no no no
Maybe a blog entry here and there
But otherwise no no no no no no no, and no time

LEISURE (PHOTOGRAPHY)

Here
Sightseeing
Spring Break

There
Only for assignments

PHYSICAL HEALTH

Here
7/10 and improving

There
6/10 and declining

MENTAL HEALTH

Here
??? 😐 ???

There
??? 😦 ???

CONCLUSION

Stop worrying about not being able to catch up on amount of work done, or level of skills acquired. You won’t be able to go anywhere if you don’t get that brain of yours fixed anyway. Relax, enjoy. And stop guilt-tripping yourself for goodness’ sake!

Imposter

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Does anybody ever feel this way?
That you are just masquerading your way through life?
I am actually a very ignorant person.
And I am so afraid that I’ll be called out for being so.