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But a submerged iceberg

Funny how I only come here to whine nowadays. Have been meaning to write a proper post – something this space has been lacking for quite a while. There simply was not enough motivation.

What happened to me?

A takeaway from Madness last semester is that repression is one of the driving factors of craziness. And what is madness? Is it not just a deviation from The Norm? Yet, The Norm is not always right. But I digress. God, my thoughts are a mess. 

I guess I’m feeling like a hybrid of Esther, a piano teacher and Veronika now.

Make up your mind, woman! And stick to it, goddamnit.

Age has caught up

Hell weeks used to come around every three weeks or so but every week feels like one this semester. The body old, and the mind not as willing to keep up the (super) destructive (super) late nights routine.

Can’t wait for the holidays, four more weeks to go.

 

Shoot

I’ve always knew that being a good photographer meant more than having a good camera. To be acutely aware of what setting combinations to use for what subject and all sorts of a range of other variables… it’s no wonder why I never had an interest in photography. Ha.

From reading manuals, consulting google and fiddling with Gracie’s Canon AE-1 Program to getting totally confused, loading the film, making a wasted trip out of the house and being scared to death – all in a single morning – at least I think I’ve learnt something.

Cheers to having taken a baby step out of my comfort zone today.

Remember:

Learn, not look smart. Better a fool for a brevity than one for a lifetime.

Now what?

Might be biting off more than I can chew this semester what with 22AUs (of which 15 are ADM studio modules), SC, Harmonica P&P, concert and workstudy. Spread so thinly I don’t think I make a delicious sandwich 😦

The constant trepidation of failing at everything even before I try any is such an unhealthy mindset. Doubts fill my entire being, ahhhhhhhhhhh. And I can’t make a decision to save my life.

Anyway I guess the reason I haven’t been updating here as much is because I found a great listener whom I am extremely grateful for having met 🙂